There are usually a million and one half things I want to write about when I sit down to work on a blog post. There are other times I have been moved so passionately by something that I feel like my typing could not win a turtle race because my fingers won't move as fast as my brain. The experience in my head when I sit down to write would cause a shrink to pay me for a chance to analyze my thinking. Seriously, all aboard the crazy train. Below is a tame sample of my thought process as I write:
I really want to write about this. It is a truth that has rocked my world and I just want to share it. It's kind of risky to share? Live bold, that's your word this year. Where do I start? I need a glass of water. The dictionary, I need to look up definitions to help me find the right words to express my thoughts. Thank you. Mr. Webster. Should I share the definition in my writing? Nah, speak from your heart. "Dexter NO!" I need to find that one Bible verse that starts with something and talks about, you know, that thing? Found it. I feel more confident writing about this now, it's not my truth, it's His truth. Need to switch the laundry. Does that sentence even make sense??? Got a little too wordy there, better edit. Less is more. Re-read from the beginning... Ugh, made it to sentence two and have to change this whole paragraph! It doesn't match the ending, it's like you are talking about two separate things. Tie it all together somehow. I need a snack. Start reading from the beginning in someone else's perspective. Well, that just sounds too "churchy"! Fix it. I should step away for a few minutes, clear my head. Read again from beginning to end. Oh man, that middle paragraph just doesn't sound right? Change it. How much time before the kids get off the bus? Now the last sentence doesn't read well. Edit. Okay, this is it, read start to finish. I need to add a little more humor in that point. Ok. Done. Start to finish. One. Last. Time. Should I publish this? Wait! It needs a graphic or a picture...there, perfect. What are people going to think when they read this? Did I use that Bible verse right? God, bless it would you? I just want You to be the author. Read again. Is that my phone? Publish. There, it's out in the web.
When I write, I literally put a piece of myself out there. I fight the battle of insecurity every single time. Writing allows me to "choose my words" in a way that this awkward, creative, introvert can't do in person. Thank the Good Lord above that I can express myself through typing.